21 September 2005

Telkom Logic

Telkom - our nations government-owned monopoly (hopefully not for too much longer) telco - has an amazing sense of logic!

Several times I have applied for a DSL connection. Now, living as I do out in the sticks, I don't expect much, least of all from Telkom, but having been down this sort of road with the a few times before, I tried a different tactic this time.

Me phoning Telkom's Customer Service department... (all names fictional to protect the helpless)

Telkom
[bright and perky]: Good day, my name is Ruwayda, how may I help you?

Me: Hi, I'd like to order ADSL, please.

Telkom: Certainly, sir. What is your phone number.

[I give them my number and spend a minute or sol listening to the clicking of a keyboard while they check whether ADSL service is available for my local telephone exchange. It's not.]

Telkom: I'm sorry sir, but ADSL is not available on your exchange, so I'm not able to take your application.

Me: I know, but I would like you to take my application anyway.

Telkom: OK, sir. [Proceeds to note the application. Fast forward to a couple of days later; I receive a call from a More Senior Person.]

TelkomMSP: I'm afraid that we have to reject your application, as there is no service in your area, and we don't expect to be able to provide service in the foreseeable future - there is not sufficient customer demand in the area.

Me: So how do we demonstrate demand, because I know of quite a few people in the area who would jump at the chance to get ADSL.

TelkomMSP: Well, if we could get enough applications on file, that would do it.

Me: But you keep rejecting applications because there's no availability!

TelkomMSP: Yes...

Me: So you'll never have any demand.

TelkomMSP: Yes, but we cannot accept applications where we are unable to provide the service - its policy.

Laugh or cry? You decide!